


Problem Solving

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-16
Updated: 2005-10-16
Packaged: 2019-04-29 09:18:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14469585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: Jayne wakes up to find River in his bed.  What the gorram hell?  VAGUE spoilers for "Serenity"





	Problem Solving

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This fic involves sex between a forty-something mercenary and a seventeen-year-old genius. I tried to make it as unsquicky as possible, but if that disturbs you, I suggest you don't read. There are also allusions to unpleasant behavior at the Academy, so again, please don't read if that upsets you.

  
Author's notes: This fic involves sex between a forty-something mercenary and a seventeen-year-old genius. I tried to make it as unsquicky as possible, but if that disturbs you, I suggest you don't read. There are also allusions to unpleasant behavior at the Academy, so again, please don't read if that upsets you.  


* * *

Problem Solving

## Problem Solving

* * *

In the dream, Jayne was having sex with his favorite whore, Lucinda. She was expensive but worth it, with a swanky establishment on one of the little moons that wasn't quite Core, wasn't quite Rim. Jayne always liked making time with Lucinda, because she really seemed to enjoy his company. Course, most of the whores he went with liked him, 'cause he knew how to treat them right. Momma had taught him to respect a lady, and while he'd punch anyone who got under his skin - male or female - when it came to the bedroom, he was a right perfect gentleman. Sometimes. Most of the time he was just plain randy. But he always made sure he gave as good as he got, and he always paid what was owed. 

Still, Lucinda was special. She was blond and buxom, with a set of hips that made his mouth water as he watched them sway across the room. Sex with Lucinda was like sex with an avalanche: lots of tumbling and a smashing finish. Jayne liked women with meat on their bones; he liked being able to wrap his arms around her waist and feel every inch of her against every inch of him. Which wasn't to say he'd turn down any of those cute little waiflets that seemed to turn most men's heads. Just if he had a choice, he'd take the curvy ones, and Lucinda was shaped like a top-heavy hourglass. 

The dream was weird, though, 'cause Lucinda was acting strange. Normally she'd be all over him and they'd be bucking under the sheets by now, but instead she was teasing; nipping along his collarbone and grazing his ribs with her fingertips. It wasn't unpleasant - hell no! -- just... odd. He wasn't used to Lucinda being delicate with him. Jayne wasn't used to anyone being delicate with him. He knew everyone saw him as a big, oafish ox, and that was just fine by him; a man like that could get a reputation sight unseen. 

The sun was shining in this hazy little dreamworld, and that was weird, too, because Lucinda always had a queue, but she always cleared her calendar for him come nightfall. The light was bright, and it showed off the auburn highlights in her hair. There were places it almost looked chestnut. He found himself wondering if she was a natural blond, or if she'd done that thing women did and dyed her hair. But then what the hell did he care? The hair didn't matter. It was all the pink bits that mattered. 

After a while, Lucinda began to move against him, and this was more like it. She rubbed her belly against his as she pressed soft kisses up his neck - studiously avoiding his mouth, as he'd instructed her. Jayne grinned, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around her waist. Oh yeah, this was the stuff. Warm woman, soft bed, recycled air, artificial light- 

Hang on. What the hell? 

Jayne's eyes flew open, and he knew he was awake because he could feel Serenity's engines vibrating in the walls and up through the floor. The light immediately above his bunk was on, shining down on his Wall of Women and making him squint in discomfort. "What in the gorram hell...?" he muttered groggily, raising one hand to shield his eyes from the glare. He went to raise the other hand to switch off the light, before realizing that he couldn't move it because something was holding it down. 

Something warm, and soft, and vaguely girl-shaped. 

Stiffening - in just about every way that word could be applied - Jayne took a moment to swallow before looking. Far as he knew, he hadn't snuck any whores aboard Serenity at that last stop on Bellerophon. Then again, he might've gotten drunk and smuggled one on under his coat. He was a big guy and all the whores on Belle were small as matchsticks - no big women like Lucy - so it was a maybe. Whoever it was they were light as a feather, which was why he'd barely noticed her presence right off. Even now the only reason he knew she was there was the additional warmth along his side and the slight numbness in his right hand. 

Counting slowly backwards from three, Jayne finally allowed his eyes to drift down, and found himself face to sleeping face with River Tam. 

"Gan ni niang," he swore under his breath, and tried not to panic. 

What in mother's name was she doing here? Had he let her in? Was he drunk at the time? Was he drunk now? Priorities first. He frantically scanned his eyes around the room to make sure neither Mal nor Simon were waiting in the shadows, ready to skin him alive for laying hands on the girl. That done, he turned his attention back to the sleeping moonbrain. 

Far as he could tell she didn't have any sharp implements on her, so the chances of her gutting him when he woke her up were slim. Then again, she was crazy, and crazyfolk could skin you with their teeth. Currently she had her face tucked into the side of his neck and one arm flung across his stomach. Her fingers were dreamily moving over his ribs, and he figured that must've been why Lucy was being all kinds of sweet with him in his dream; he'd been feeling River and he'd turned her into Lucy. 

Well weren't that just sweet, in a my balls are gonna be cut off kinda way. 

"Hey," he grunted, shaking her cautiously, just in case she had a scalpel or something hid down her nightie. "Hey, get up. Gorrammit, girl, wake up!" 

River mumbled sleepily, burrowing deeper into his side before going immediately back to sleep. Jayne could feel her steady breathing moving, warm and moist, against his neck. She was wearing some kind of lacy nightie that barely concealed her girly bits, and he could feel the small swells of her breasts pressing into his ribs. Well-trained bits of his anatomy began to sit up and take notice. 

Panic time. 

"Wake up!" he barked, pulling roughly away so that she ended up sprawled out on the mattress on her back and he was pressed against the wall, feeling his weapons dig into his back through the thin curtain that kept them hidden. "What're you doin' here!" 

River's eyes opened and she gazed up at him as if she hadn't just been asleep a few seconds before. "Morning," she said. 

"It ain't mornin', it's the middle of the gorram night, and don't change the subject! What're you doin' in my bed!" 

Stretching like a cat - Jayne made himself look away as the silhouette of her body moved within the translucent confines of her nightgown - River yawned. "Scaring away the boogeyman," she explained, flopping back onto the mattress, arms lazily curled above her head. 

"You gone more cracked, girl?" Jayne snapped. "Ain't no such thing as the boogeyman." 

"The big bad wolf then." With a dreamy smile, she reached up to pat his chest. "And he is very scared now." 

Jayne narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh, hardy har har," he tossed out sarcastically. "You're just cute as a button, ain't you? Quit playin' around! I'm the one who's gonna get hisself skinned like a jackrabbit iffen Mal finds out you're here!" 

"No one will know." 

"You so sure of that?" 

"Yes." 

Jayne scowled at her. "Well I ain't. Now git." 

She pouted at him. 

"Cut that out," he snapped irritably. "You ain't got no reason to frown. I wake up, find you snuggled up next to me like Jane Thompson to my John Thomas, and you're frownin'? Just what in hell are you doin' here? Didn't your momma teach you it ain't right to go crawlin' into other folks' beds like they was yours?" The light above him was beginning to feel hot against the top of his head, and he reached up angrily to hit the off switch. 

A small scream from the girl sprawled out on his bed stilled his hand. 

Looking down, he saw that River had curled into a protective ball, knees drawn up to her chest, hands buried in her hair, which was in turn draped across her face. She was visibly shaking, making the thin mattress shiver right along with her. Jayne's frown deepened, and he found himself facing a quandary. He had no idea what that word meant, but he knew this was one of 'em. Either he could kick the girl out of his bunk and send her whimpering back to her brother and risk her coming back, or he could ask her just what the hell her problem was and get it all sorted so it wouldn't happen again. His sense of self-preservation was demanding he take option one, but the small nugget of his brain that actually paid attention to future scenarios was reminding him that it was all well and good to save himself now, but where did that put him if she decided to come back tomorrow night? Back to square one, that's where. 

"Uh... you all right?" he asked lamely, treading on unfamiliar ground. 

"Don't bring back the dark," she whispered brokenly, fingers clutching her hair. 

Jayne looked up at the light, then back down at the girl. "Why not?" he asked. 

"Bad things happen. Ugly things come in the dark." 

"Yeah, well, Mal looks better in low light." 

"Mal. Mal. Bad. Bad in the dark." 

Jayne rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I get it, dark bad. Light good. Light also keeps Jayne awake, which makes Jayne cranky, and you don't want Jayne cranky, 'specially not when he's already in a rip-snortin' mood." 

Her fingers carefully pulled aside the curtain of her hair, and Jayne found himself faced with a pair of terrified brown eyes, filled to the brim with tears. "The girl apologizes," she whimpered. "She comes to the big bad wolf so he will blow the brick walls down and let in the sun." 

"The hell you sayin', girl." 

"You are bigger than the dark." 

"Can't you talk sense just once in your life?" he demanded, frustrated. Why was he even indulging her? If she were anyone else he'd have kicked her out of the room by now; chucked her up the ladder into the corridor and gone back to sleep. "The dark ain't gonna hurt you, feng le girl. Case you ain't noticed, we're in the middle of deep, dark space." She whimpered, and he mentally cursed himself for using the word dark. "Ain't no one gonna come and getcha. Shiny?" 

"Early did." 

He paused, turning that slowly over in his mind. "Yeah, well, that turned out all right, yeah?" he conceded lamely. "I mean, sure, the doc got shot, but only a little bit. And Mal got his ass kicked, but that ain't new. And Kaylee got all trussed up, but she got out jus' fine. And the Shepard got hisself knocked out, but he weren't none the worse for it..." This wasn't going well. Then he brightened as a new idea came to him. "'Sides," he said brightly, "I weren't involved in none of that. If you'd justa woken me up like you did all the others, I'da taken him out quick. Bang, bang. No more problem." 

She was staring at him plaintively, and it took him a moment to realize what he'd just said. "Oh, come on now, hang on," he argued, shaking his head vigorously. "That weren't no invitation!" 

"You keep the big bads away. You make problems go bye-bye." 

"Yeah, when they're already there!" His palms were sweating. "I ain't here to be no... no..." 

"Prophylactic?" 

"Preventitory measure!" he barked. "Now you just git and go bug your brother. Crawl into bed with him or whatever. I ain't your teddy bear." 

River flipped onto her other side so she was facing him, her hands tucked up under her chin as though she were praying, knees cradled against her chest. "Not a teddy," she agreed softly. 

"Glad we both get that." 

"A grizzly." Reaching up a hand, she ran her fingers through the fine mesh of hair on his bare chest. 

Jayne felt panic swell up in him again, and he hastily slapped her hand away. "Quit it!" Casting about desperately for some kind of escape route, he realized there was no way he was getting out of this bed without having to crawl over the crazy girl's skinny body. Her nightgown was riding up her thigh, almost to her hip, revealing a ridiculous amount of creamy white skin. Reaching down, he grabbed the hem and tugged it down to a respectable level before quickly pulling his hand back, shaking it as if he'd just touched a hot stove. 

"Simon is communing with strawberries," River murmured, utterly calm, as if she weren't turning Jayne into a bundle of nerves. 

"What?" he snapped. 

"Kaylee," she clarified. 

"What? Oh." Dammit, Doc, you couldn't keep it in your pants the one night your feng le sister decides she wants to sleep with somebody? "Yeah, well, the pair of 'em are loud enough to keep all the big bads away, all right? You just go camp out on the floor outside their room and tell Doc you was there all night, shiny?" No need to go bringing Jayne himself into the story. Besides, maybe Simon would feel so guilty he'd be more careful in the future, and the certified loony wouldn't go clambering into his bed no more. 

"No thank you," River said brightly, as if she hadn't been crying just a minute before. Snuggling down into his pillow, she closed her eyes contentedly. "The girl is happy here." 

"Yeah, well the grizzly ain't too happy none!" Jayne barked, hoping to scare her with his tone. 

"Pfft." No such luck. 

"Listen, girl, 'tain't right, a little girl crawlin' into bed with a grown man like this," he explained, hoping a different tack would make her see reason, or whatever it was crazy people saw. 

"Not a little girl," she mumbled sleepily. 

"Close enough." 

"Almost eighteen." 

"Yeah, almost. 'Sides, I'm old enough to be your daddy." 

"Are you planning on having sex with me?" 

"WHAT?" he sputtered, trying to press himself even deeper into the wall. "What you go and say that for!" 

River's eyes opened again, surprisingly lucid despite her sleepy tone of a moment before. "To sleep is to rest and rejuvenate the body through proper biological functions," she explained in clinical fashion. "To have sex is to propagate the species through exchange of fluids, culminating in a pleasurable climax." She arched an eyebrow at his crimson face. "They are not mutually inclusive." 

Jayne had no idea what about three-quarters of the words she'd said meant, but he was pretty sure she was teasing him. "Yeah, well, looks can be deceivin' and all," he argued. "Iffen anybody finds you in here-" 

"Door's locked." 

"Huh?" 

"She locked the door." Gesturing lazily behind her towards the ladder in the entryway, River yawned and closed her eyes again. "No peepers." 

Jayne felt that somewhere along the way he'd lost control of the conversation, if he'd ever had it to begin with. "Someone'll see you when you leave..." he protested weakly. 

"River will see them first," she mumbled. 

"Through a closed door?" he snorted 

She tapped her temple. "Psychic, dummy." 

"Oh. Right." He frowned. "Don't call me a dummy." 

"Stop being silly and she will consider it." 

Jayne felt a small flame of righteous anger unfurl in his belly. "Look here, girl, I shit bigger'n you," he argued. "I can jus' knock you outta this bed faster'n you can spit." 

"You won't." 

"And what makes you so gorram sure?" 

"You like girls." Jayne felt his ears burning, and felt a sudden desire to cover his Wall of Women. "They help you sleep." 

"Don't need no help sleepin'," he muttered. 

"Yes you do." Eyes still closed, she reached a hand up to him and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him forward with surprising strength. Jayne found himself flat on his back on the mattress before he could protest. River snuggled up close to him, resting her cheek on his chest while keeping tight hold of his opposite shoulder to keep him from squirming away. "Grew up with sisters, full house. You like the sound of girl breathing." 

Jayne frowned. "You sayin' I slept with my sisters?" he demanded hotly. 

"No, dummy," River explained calmly. "But you don't like the quiet." 

Jayne didn't like admitting she was right, so he didn't. "I like it a damn sight better'n your yammerin'," he muttered. Then, "I said don't call me dummy." 

"Sleep, Jayne Cobb." 

Shiny, he thought sarcastically as he felt her breathing even out against his shoulder. Sighing, he settled himself in for a sleepless night. 

* * *

River drifted in and out of sleep. It was warm here, and comfortable, and smelled like gun oil and leather and something unclassifiable she could only describe as man. Were she more awake she would have broken the latter down into its component parts - sweat, shaving cream, detergent... - but in her sleepy state she just accepted it as it was and filed it away under Jayne. He was a grizzly, and this was his cave. 

But the bear wasn't hibernating. Each time River's consciousness floated back to near-waking, she became aware of his staccato heartbeat and unsteady breathing. Coupled with the unusual tension in his body and the rigidity of his muscles, she was able to deduce without even touching his mind that he was wide awake and showed no sign of sleeping. This was unacceptable. He would be no use to her at all if he was exhausted. 

Finally, after the fifth time she drifted awake to find him anxiously awake beneath her, River gave up trying to ignore it. "Why aren't you sleeping?" she asked without opening her eyes. 

Jayne jumped beneath her. "Gorram, girl...!" he hissed. "You're gonna give a man a heart attack, bein' all sneaky like that." 

River raised her head and propped herself up on one elbow so she could look down into his face. "Irrelevant to the question," she yawned, rubbing her eyes with one hand. "Answer please." 

"What, why ain't I sleepin'?" 

"Affirmative." 

"Cuz I got a bonkers girl sleepin' in my bed!" 

"We have discussed this and come to a logical conclusion." This was boring her. Why did he keep insisting on making things so difficult? "No problems exist because there is no problem." 

"Girl, you came to a logical conclusion, but that don't mean you brought me along for the ride." 

River tilted her head, taking in his profile. He was studiously avoiding her eyes. There was a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead, and the tendons in his neck were standing out more than usual. Generally Jayne carried himself with the air of a very large wolf, predatory without effort. This tension was a new thing, something River had only ever observed in him in the heat of battle, usually when he'd been shot. So what pain was he fighting now? Reaching out with her mind, she lazily brushed her consciousness over his. 

Oh. That. 

"Your arousal is understood," she said, ignoring his start of surprise, "but irrelevant." 

"Yeah, to you maybe," he snapped, and she could feel warmth flush his skin. " Maybe you're a cold little bitch, but man like me gets needs, you know." 

River eyed him more closely. She could see him daring the occasional glance in her direction. Images were swirling through his mind, visions of a dozen different whores across a dozen different systems, all doing wildly inappropriate things, and each one with a mop of untidy brown hair. 

Hmm. Interesting. 

"Pop, pop, like a balloon," she murmured. 

"Wassat supposed to mean?" he shot back suspiciously. 

"You want to explode." Her fingers idly traced across his collarbone. "Bang, like a cannon." 

"Cut that out," Jayne snarled, pushing her hand away and taking the opportunity to move out of the immediate orbit of her body. "You shouldn't go on touchin' a man like that, less you wanna be a tease." 

River watched him. He really was quite a specimen: all muscles and hardheaded brawn. Not much upstairs but that didn't really matter; she had more than enough of that on her own. It was easy blocking out most of his thoughts because he was so single-minded, unlike the others who were a constant whirl of conflicting emotion. Jayne cared about one thing,and that thing was himself. The Alliance had taken away most of her brain's natural filters, but there were one or two that still functioned, and he fit nicely behind one of them. It made it remarkably easy to talk to him when they were alone. Refreshing, actually. She didn't end up stumbling over the tumble of her own words like she did with the others. 

"We could have sex," she said. 

His reaction was memorable. First his eyes widened to the point they looked like saucers. His skin flushed bright pink and his mouth pursed up in righteous horror before letting loose a slew of curses she'd never heard before. She filed them away for later use. 

"Don't go sayin' things like that!" he fretted when he'd gotten all the swearing out of his system. "'Tain't right!" 

"It would solve the problem," she continued calmly. "The immediate anatomical inconvenience would be satisfied and the post-coital state of tranquility would aid in hibernation." 

Jayne blinked at her. "Uh... what?" 

"You would feel sleepy." 

Jayne glared at her. "You just listen here," he said angrily. "I ain't havin' sex with no little girl." 

River rolled her eyes. "The girl will celebrate eighteen summers in two weeks," she told him. 

"Eighteen sum... You sayin' your birthday's in two weeks?" 

"Correct." 

"Uh..." 

"If you are worried about impregnation, don't. Indicators are that the girl's body is not in the optimum cycle for fertilization." 

Jayne blushed darker. She hadn't thought he could blush at all, and now he was turning red as a cooked lobster. "You oughtn't be talkin' about it like that," he muttered. 

She furrowed her brow. "Like what?" 

"Sex and all," he said, visibly uncomfortable. "Like it's some kind of... experiment or somethin'. 'Snot like that." 

She blinked at him. "It is. For me." 

Jayne looked at her then, eyes wary. "Whaddaya mean?" 

The filter was breaking down a little now and she was finding it more difficult to articulate her thoughts. That was what happened when she started getting upset, and she hated it. It was when she was upset that she most clearly needed to tell the others what was wrong. Why did her idiot body have to betray her like this every time? 

"Blue hands," she heard herself whimper, and immediately wanted to snatch the words back. "Blue hands with bad ideas." She bit her lip, fighting the urge to curl up again as she'd done earlier. Tears were perched on her lashes. 

"Hey now..." Jayne's hand touched her cheek and she jumped a little, raising her eyes to find his face again, sending tears spilling down her cheeks to pool against his thumb. She could feel confusion and concern pouring off him in waves, mingling with her own fear and helplessness and leaving her mired in a boiling kettle of misery. "You sayin' they... did stuff to you?" 

A sharp nod. That was all she could manage. 

The tidal wave of anger that washed over her nearly took her breath away. As it was, she gasped under the onslaught. Jayne didn't notice, his hand tightening against her cheek as his face turned to stone. "Qin wode pigu, gou shi gan ni niang!" he swore angrily. "No good go se dog-fucking hundan!" he snarled. "Doin' that stuff to little girls!" 

River could only whimper in response. His anger was overwhelming on top of her own dark memories. She didn't remember any of the experiments too clearly; only that they'd been cold and clinical and very, very lonely. The Blue Hands didn't believe in interpersonal contact. She remembered rooms full of shiny metal equipment and cold steel tables, everything automated, as they trained her body to respond as they wanted her to respond. They were training her to be a killer, not a woman, which meant she couldn't act like a woman even when her barriers were shredded down completely. She remembered bright lights and cold, cold metal and- 

Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted as she felt warm arms wrap around her, pulling her up tight against a broad chest covered in bristles. Blinking and gasping, she struggled to drag herself back to reality, digging her nails into his arms to ground herself in the here and now. "Hey now, calm down," she heard him saying near her ear, gruff voice tempered by anxiety. She realized she was shaking uncontrollably and figured this must have been part of the reason for his unease. "I didn't mean to go bringin' up bad memories, mei mei. Jus' big, dumb Jayne bein' a stupid ox again. 'Sokay. 'Sgonna be all right..." 

The sound of his voice was soothing, as was the warm press of his flesh against her own. He'd called her "mei mei"; that was a first. "A hundred and one apologies," she whispered shakily, pressing her face into his throat and letting the rhythm of his pulse control her breathing. "The girl is sorry, so sorry, so sorry sorry sorry..." 

"He now, don't go talkin' like you done somethin' wrong, yeah?" Jayne told her firmly. "I shouldn't've gone pryin' like that." He sighed, and she could feel his anger slowly beginning to ebb, though it wasn't going away. "Does your brother know?" 

Sniffle. "Bits." 

"You gonna tell him more?" 

"No." 

She felt him nod and was thankful that he let the matter drop for now. Relaxing into his arms, she felt her blinding terror begin to leech away. It was obvious that he wasn't used to comforting people, but he'd had training somewhere along the way. "Sisters," she murmured dreamily, letting her fingers uncurl so they no longer dug into his biceps. There was blood under her nails. 

"Huh?" he asked, still rubbing her back. 

"You used to beat up the boys who teased your sisters," she murmured, reading his memories without conscious thought. "They used to cry on your shoulder and you'd go turn the boys to bloody puddles." 

"Yeah, well, man's gotta protect his own." 

"Is River your own?" 

Jayne cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Just go back to sleep, all right?" he hedged. "No more sex talk." 

She raised her head and found his face with her eyes. There was a hint of whiskey on his breath; he must have taken a drink before bed and it hadn't faded away yet. "She is," she murmured, nodding. "She is one of your own." 

"Look, just cuz I'm feelin' a little sorry for you don't mean-" he started, but she stopped him with a kiss. It seemed the easiest thing to do. 

* * *

Jayne was frozen in place as the girl's lips moved against his mouth. What the hell just happened? One second she was all limp in his arms, and now she was sliding against his body like a satin glove. He tried not to taste the sweet berry flavor of her lips or feel the flickering pressure of her fingers on his ribs. Tried, and failed miserably. 

After a few seconds he managed to shake himself out of his shock and pulled away. "Gorrammit, girl!" he gasped, feeling fresh panic flood through his veins. "What was that about?" 

River gazed up at him with dark eyes that were almost black. "Problem solving," she murmured. 

"We ain't solvin' no problems doin' that, you get me?" 

"Three birds with one stone." 

"I don't care wh- Huh?" 

"Immediate." She slid closer to him, and he nearly lost what breath he had left as he felt her slender body press along his broad one, one small hand sliding down to brush over the bulge in his boxers. "Imminent." She moved the hand up again to coast over his eyes. As it moved away, he found himself confronted nose to nose with those same eyes, only now he could see that they weren't black; they were all kinds of different brown. 

"Longstanding," she murmured, and her hand cupped his elbow, wrapping his arm around her waist. They never touched her at the Academy. That was what made it worse. "Three birds." 

Hell, she felt good. What was that he'd been thinking earlier about waiflets? How they weren't so good as the curvy ones? Well, that was as may be, but they had their own good points. Like how she fit into him completely, her wafer-thin body dwarfed by his muscular one. He could imagine what she'd look like underneath him, as he moved inside and over her... 

Shaking his head to clear the image, he cleared his throat. "You're talkin' crazy," he muttered, but found he couldn't get his body to move away from her again. Men like him didn't play games, and he was too tired to keep playing this one with her. 

River gave him a dazzling smile. "Yes, I am," she concurred. "But it's true." 

A slow burn was building in his stomach, and it took him a moment to realize she was rubbing against him, her belly sliding against his through the thin material of her nightgown. He growled quietly, grabbing her hip in one strong hand and holding her still. She froze and he watched as her eyes dilated immediately. Aw, hell, how was a man supposed to say no to something like that? 

"River," he ground out through gritted teeth, taking the rare opportunity to use her name. "You gotta stop that, girl, or I'm not gonna be able to hold out against you, you hear?" 

There was a moment when he wondered if she'd heard him, then that beatific smile was back. "Good," she purred, and went for his throat. 

Jayne sucked in a breath as he felt her mouth nipping on his neck. Nimble hands seemed to be all over his body at once; how did such a small girl manage that? He knew she had lightning fast reflexes, but this was just crazy. Course, so was she... 

He became aware of a low rumble in the room and realized suddenly that he was purring. River moaned happily, pressing her body closer to his, and Jayne gave up. He'd given her every opportunity to turn him away and she'd refused each and every time. If they got rolling and she decided she didn't want to keep going, they both knew she could kick his ass, even if she weighed maybe ninety pounds soaking wet. If she flipped him across the room and took off running he'd let her go. But right now his body was demanding some action, and he'd never been a man to deny his body's base impulses. 

Sliding his hand roughly up her body from her hip, dragging the material of her nightie up with it, he cupped her chin firmly and pulled her face up so he could look into her eyes. "You see this look, girl?" he asked, feeling her eager breath puff against his face. 

She nodded and whimpered, her hands pawing at his body. 

"Good. You get a long look at it. This is my determined face, right? This face means I'm goin' to take good care of you. So you don't gotta be scared and you don't gotta worry I'm goin' to do somethin' stupid. Shiny?" 

River nodded as much as she could with her face held in his iron grip. "Shiny," she mewed, then arched her back, wrenching herself out of his grasp before diving back in to attack his chest with her small, hot mouth. 

Ta ma de, she knew what she was doing. He wondered if she got all this from book-learning, and if so maybe that was something he should look into. She must've been reading some of Inara's manuals or some damn thing, because he'd been with a lot of whores and not a one of them had ever used her tongue like River was doing. He groaned as she dragged her teeth over his nipple, then grabbed her waist with one hand and pushed her back. "Wanna see you," he managed to pant, surprised at his own restraint. Maybe that was something else about being with skinny girls; they made him want to go easier, so's he didn't break them. River felt like she had bird bones under that pale skin; one wrong touch and he'd crush her. 

River nodded quickly and reached down to grab the hem of her nightgown, but Jayne stopped her. "Uh-uh," he said, shaking his head. "My turn." 

River let herself be pulled into a sitting position as Jayne sat up beside her. Swallowing because this still felt wrong even if she'd said it was all right, he took hold of her nightgown and tugged it upwards. River giggled and squirmed. "Quit that," he muttered. "It puts me off my game, you gigglin' like that." 

"Tickles," she told him. 

"Yeah, well, shut it." His palms were sweating and he was nervous as hell. In the back of his mind his mother was hitting him with a broom and telling him he was a very naughty boy, which wasn't too conducive to sex. More pressing, in the front of his mind Mal was wielding a wicked pair of shears and kept saying, "Snip, snip, this is my ship." That wasn't much better than his Ma; if anything, it was worse. 

Then suddenly he felt her spry fingers dancing under his arms and he jumped back. "Hey!" 

"Tickle, tickle," she said with a grin. "Tickle me, I'll tickle you." She pounced on him, tickling mercilessly. Jayne howled with a mixture of laughter and rage, struggling to throw her off to no avail. She was small, yes, but that just meant she was more maneuverable; he couldn't get a grip on her. Finally he managed to twist his hands in her nightgown, which was still steadfastly in place, and tried to yank her away from his body using it as leverage. 

Then, using some complex move she must have learned from a mongoose, River squirmed backwards, disappearing into her nightgown, then reemerging a second later outside of it. Jayne was left staring at her, hands tangled in empty fabric, with River smiling dreamily at him, naked except for a pair of plain white cotton panties. "Problem solved," she said. 

Jayne stared at her, jaw slack. He'd sort of seen her naked before, when she first came out of that crate the doctor was shipping her around in. But that had been all fast and she'd been doing a lot of screaming, and most importantly she hadn't been smiling at him. That was what was really killing him; the combination of the nudity and the smile. It was like she could read his mi- 

Gou shi. 

"It was getting too crowded," she purred, taking her nightgown from his motionless hands and folding it neatly beside the pillow before turning back to him. "You were becoming distracted." 

His mouth moved without any sound coming out. River patted him gently on the cheek, as though he were a child. "Just skin," she assured him tenderly. As if to prove her point, she picked up his hand and rested it comfortably in the curve of her waist. "Skin over bone over girl." 

Jayne stared down at his hand. Her skin was pale and silky smooth. It reminded him of those china dolls his mother had bought for each of his sisters the year she gave him his first toy pistol. He could make out the ridges of her ribs, like a washboard pressing through her translucent skin. She had small breasts, but they suited her. Everything small suited her. The only big thing he could picture with her was himself; he wondered when that happened. 

River sighed happily as he began stroking his thumb over her belly, just beneath the shadow of her breast. "Soft," she murmured, eyes fluttering shut, but he didn't know if she was echoing his own thoughts or was describing his touch. He didn't care. 

"Come 'ere," he rumbled, tugging her towards him. She moved willingly, climbing into his lap and resting her cheek on his shoulder as her arms looped loosely around his back. Her nipples pressed into his chest, tight little nubbins, and he felt his stomach tighten as he smelled her arousal. This wasn't a little girl, he realized. She hadn't been a little girl since she found herself stranded at that Academy at the age of fourteen, with no one coming to help her and no hope of getting out on her own. That kind of thing tended to grow a person up real fast. The strong ones made it through. The weak ones... 

Well, no one really knew what happened to the weak ones. 

"No," he heard her moan near his ear. "Stop thinking. Your thoughts are loud. They hurt my head." 

"Sorry, baby girl," he soothed, rubbing her back and feeling her relax against him. "Didn't mean nothin' by it." 

They sat quietly for a minute, and after a bit Jayne thought she might have fallen asleep. He almost laid her down on the sheets again, until he felt her head shift towards him and her teeth tug on his earlobe. The action sent a bolt of arousal straight through his body to his groin and he groaned as he felt himself harden further. 

River giggled near his ear. "Three birds with this stone," she grinned, reaching between them to cup him through his boxers. 

Jayne groaned again, letting his head fall forward to rest on her shoulder. "Ta ma de, you're goin' to kill me, little River," he moaned as she squeezed, then released, then squeezed... 

"Uh uh. Goin' to bring you alive," she purred near his ear, perfectly mimicking his accent in that odd way of hers. "Goin' to keep you that way." 

Jayne didn't kiss on the mouth. It was just one of his rules. Kisses like that just made things complicated. Some old tracker had told him once it was because the mouth was so close to the brain; kissing made you start thinking too much, and thinking where sex was concerned was a bad thing. But he could still taste River's sweet lip balm from the kiss she'd given him earlier and it was making him hungry for berry pie. There wouldn't be any of that anytime soon, so he'd just have to make do. 

"That right?" he muttered, his own lips idly exploring her shoulder. Her skin tasted like rainwater. "How you gonna manage that, ornery old sumbitch like me?" 

"I got ways," she purred back, nuzzling along his jaw before flicking out her tongue to taste his pulse point. 

"Do you now?" He pulled back and kissed his way up her throat. "Guess I'm in for a treat, huh?" 

"Sweet treat," she concurred. 

"Sweet, huh?" 

"Sweet." 

"Yeah, I think you're right." He'd made his way to her chin now and it was just a hop, skip and a jump to her lips from there. 

She met him halfway through the skip. 

* * *

Things were going on inside River's body that she hadn't ever felt before. If the Blue Hands had been trying to null out her purely physical reactions to sex, they'd obviously missed an important point when they took away the human element and did it all by machine. On the one hand she recognized the tightening in her belly, the way her insides seemed to quiver like jelly, the way it seemed to take more effort to get enough air into her lungs. This was familiar; she'd felt it before, and had hated it at the time because of who was doing it to her and why. 

This was different. Jayne's hands were warm and supportive on her back, his thighs cradling her bottom as he pulled her belly tight against his own. One hand slid up into her hair, steadying her head as he kissed her. His beard was rough against her face but she found she invited the additional stimulation. There was more to sex, it appeared, than the mere connection of bodies; Tab A fitting into Slot B. For all their technology, the Blue Hands were obviously a bunch of idiots if they didn't realize the importance of TOUCHING. 

Or maybe they did realize. Maybe that was why they wore the gloves. 

She moaned as his tongue touched the seam of her lips, and she opened her mouth against his to see what new sensations he was going to give her. The smooth slide of his tongue against hers was almost too much and her body trembled as she moaned again, louder this time, and brought her hands up to hold his face so she could kiss him deeper. 

After a minute he broke away, and River gasped in the void left by his mouth. "Easy, girl," he panted, leaning against the wall, his hand rubbing up and down her spine. "Gotta take it easy." 

"Don't want easy," she groaned, straining against him. "Want it hard." To exclamate her point, she rocked her hips against his, feeling his erection press against the juncture of her legs. 

Jayne hissed and grabbed her hips, holding her steady. "You're in my bed, gorrammit," he growled, though there was no anger there. "That means if I wanna take it easy on you, we take it easy." 

"Nooo," she whined, dragging her nails down his arms. 

"Yes," he said firmly, ignoring the sting her nails had to be causing. "You ever been with a man before?" 

She thought of cold steel and hard rubber, and shook her head. 

"Didn't think so. That means I'm your first, got it? Don't care what those dirty pieces of rotten go se filth did to you, you're still a virgin. That means your first time oughta be somethin' memorable. Lucky for you, you happen to be with one of the best." 

She raised an eyebrow. "One of?" she teased, unable to resist. 

Jayne grinned at her. "Can't pull one over on you, huh?" he said with a sly shadow of a wink. "You got me. The best." 

She laughed as he flipped her onto her back, then squirmed and laughed more as his fingers somehow found all her most ticklish places and teased each one in turn. She stretched happily, reaching her hands up as high as they'd go and pointing her toes in perfect ballerina fashion, enjoying the way his hands coasted over her skin like calloused butterflies. She almost didn't notice when his fingers hooked into the waist of her panties and began to peel them down her hips, until she felt cool air on her lower belly. 

She opened her eyes slowly; it was difficult, as if they'd been dipped in honey. She stared up at Jayne through her lashes, watching as he concentrated all his attention on stripping away her last piece of clothing. When she felt the panties reach her ankles she took the initiative and kicked them away, letting the movement lead into another stretch, this one slow and languorous where the earlier one had been bubbly and exuberant. It felt good, being naked on Jayne's sheets. She imagined him sleeping here night after night, and wiggled a bit to see if she could absorb any of his leftover dreams. 

A choked moan made her look up again, to find Jayne staring down at her like a starving man. He had one hand poised over her writhing stomach but wasn't touching her, as if afraid he'd be electrocuted if he did. "Touch, don't look," she cooed, and saw him start at the intrusion of her voice. 

When he looked up, his eyes were a little wild, a little lost. "Gorram, girl," he said, sounding utterly bewildered. "Where in the seven hells did you come from? You're all..." He looked down at her body again, and this time when he put his hand on her stomach, she heard him moan. "You're all manner of shiny..." 

"So're you," she murmured, raising up one hand to touch his forehead, tracing the path of a bead of sweat. "Shiny. And there's twelve." 

"Huh?" He didn't look up from his study of her body. "Twelve what?" 

"Hells," she told him. When he looked up sharply, she clarified, "I've seen five of them." 

She saw his jaw set in that stony manner that meant he was trying not to blow his stack. "Don't tell me about 'em," he growled, and she got the feeling that if he ever came across anybody who had the gall to wear blue gloves of any kind, that person was going to find themselves getting acquainted with the finer points of learning to breathe in open space. "Don't talk. Don't... Jus' don't." 

River obediently stopped talking, instead letting her fingers say all she needed to say as she trailed them through his hair. He sighed shakily and leaned forward, moving his hand away and replacing it with his mouth against her lower belly. Closing her eyes, River moaned softly as she felt his tongue trace a path beneath her navel. Every sensation seemed heightened now, as though she were in some kind of virtual reality environment that took normal perception and sent it spiraling into the realm of fantasy. Jayne's beard scraped against her stomach and she whimpered, moving her hand down to splay between his shoulder blades, feeling moist muscle beneath her palm. She scrubbed her legs together, gasping slightly at the friction, then yelped as he slid a hand between her thighs and cupped the mound at the apex of her legs. 

"Mine," he growled against her stomach, pressing his nose into the soft, giving flesh of her tummy as his hand squeezed her. "Ain't you mine, River? Ain't that why you came to me?" 

River moaned again, louder this time, and opened her legs wider for him. It was purely instinctual, but he rewarded her by running his thumb down the crease of her thigh, which sent bolts of pleasure rocketing through her body. "More, please," she panted. 

"Yeah, I'll give you more," he affirmed, kissing down her stomach, over her hip. "Don't you worry 'bout that." 

He manhandled her around so he could sink down between her legs, his shoulders spreading her thighs apart. River trembled as she felt his breath brush over her core. She'd done a lot of reading since she came aboard Serenity, everything from Book's Bible to Inara's training manuals; they were her only frame of reference on how to act in situations beyond those she'd had at the Academy. Right now, all she could see in her mind's eye was a passage from one of Kaylee's dogeared romance novels. "Yes, Jayne, yes, take me now, take me hard...!" she keened, wiggling beneath him. 

She felt his shoulders shaking and chanced a look down her body, to find he had his forehead pressed against her stomach, laughing. "What?" she asked. 

He raised his head, grinning like a cat with cream. "Take me now, take me hard?" he said incredulously. "Where the blue hell'd you learn that one?" 

River jutted her lower lip out in a frustrated pout. "Books," she told him, making sure to keep out what kind of books. 

He snorted. "Now, see, that's why I don't hold with book learnin'," he told her. "You can't learn everythin' outta books." 

"Most things." 

"Mebbe. But not everythin'. Like you can't learn this." Dipping his head, he pressed his mouth against her core, dipping his tongue inside to rub against the bundle of nerves books called her clitoris, but which right now she was willing to call a piece of heaven. 

An illustration from one of Inara's manuals zipped across her mind. "P... Page 324," she managed to stammer, before his tongue went lower, went deeper, and she forgot how to speak entirely. 

Okay, maybe he was right - book learning didn't teach you everything. It sure didn't feel as good as the real thing. 

* * *

Gou shi, she tasted new. 

Jayne wasn't much into doing this kind of thing with his whores, even his favorite ones, because why would he want to put his mouth where another man's pecker had been not long before? But with River he'd decided it wasn't too much of a hardship, and it'd probably get her nice and wet for the big finish later on, so no harm, no foul. It sure was nice listening to her keen and whimper above him, but that was almost secondary to how she tasted. 

Moaning into her body, he slid his hands under her bottom and hoisted her up so he could get his mouth more fully over her. River obliged by draping her legs over his shoulders, bracing herself and holding her body rigid as he plunged his tongue in and out of her. Her fingers tangled in his hair, pressing him closer, and Jayne had the sudden mental image of suffocating with his face buried between River Tam's legs. Not a bad way to go, really, though if Mal and Simon had their way, they'd probably bring him back from the dead long enough to kill him again. 

"Please... please... oh oh oh... ohhhhh..." River was moaning, her fingers flexing in his hair. He could already feel her inner muscles twitching around his tongue. Gorram, she was close. He knew if he crooked his tongue just right, ran his thumb over her clit just so, he'd send her spinning. He toyed with the idea of pulling away before that could happen, just to draw the experience out for her. But then he got to thinking about those blue-gloved bastards and what they'd probably done to her, and decided there was no way he was denying her anything. Anything she wanted, she got. 'Nuff said. And right now her body was saying it wanted to take a tumble, so he was going to be a gentleman and oblige her. 

Growling softly, adding vibration to the list of other sinful things his mouth was already doing to her and getting a sharp little moan for his trouble, Jayne slid one hand up over her hip so he could dip a finger between her legs and press on her clit, at same time as he thrust his tongue as far as it would go into her warm, ready body. 

River screamed. The girl could probably recite the whole Karma Suture page for page, but all that book reading hadn't taught her anything about not waking the neighbors when she had an orgasm. He felt her buck against the bed, her hips grinding against his face as she pulsed around his tongue in waves. "Jayne... Jayne... Jayne...," she panted with each new ripple, and he decided he liked the way she said his name. 

When she'd calmed down a little, he gingerly moved away from the juncture of her legs. She moaned with loss as he eased her back to the bed. "Shhh, now, none of that," he chided her, stretching out beside her and guiding his hand between her legs again, replacing the warmth of his mouth with the firm pressure of his palm. "I think you enjoyed that, huh?" 

River gazed up at him with wide brown eyes that seemed to be all pupil. Her lips were red and full, her pale skin moist and glistening. Locks of her hair were plastered to her forehead. She looked thoroughly debodged, or whatever that fancy word was he heard Kaylee and Simon throwing around when they thought no one could hear. "Wow," she gasped eventually, and Jayne grinned. 

"You gotta learn not to scream like that, we gonna finish this," he said, massaging between her legs, feeling her respond in kind by rocking her hips faintly in time with his ministrations. "Liable to bring the Cap'n and all his merry little assholes running down here to kick my ass and drag you off back home." 

She nodded, eyes drifting down to his lips. "You have me on your mouth," she murmured. 

Jayne ran his tongue over his lips. "Mmm-hmm, you're right," he said. "Not ba-" 

She cut him off by propping herself up on one elbow and leaning in to run her tongue over his mouth. Jayne closed his eyes as she lapped at his lips, occasionally dipping her tongue inside to run over his teeth and slide alongside his own tongue. Moaning softly, he took the opportunity to slide his middle finger into her body, finding her still wet and ready for him. River choked out a groan into his mouth and stiffened before going limp and curling up against his chest. "I taste new," she whispered shakily, the words puffing across his damp skin like a cool breeze. 

"Yeah you do," he rumbled, burying his face in her dark hair and breathing deeply. "You get that outta my head?" She nodded. "Cuz you went pokin' or cuz you heard it on the wave sorta thing?" 

"You scream, too," she told him. 

"Gotcha." Chuckling, he began to move his finger inside her. River gasped softly and raised her leg so she could hook it over his hip, giving him easier access. "You feel that?" 

"Yes yes yes yesyesyesyes..." 

"Yeah, I figured you did. Your brother said you feel everythin', didn't he? Reckon he didn't mean this, though." Very carefully, he pressed his index finger into her body alongside the first. River arched her back, gripping his shoulders in white-knuckled hands. "Feel that now? That's two fingers there. I got big fingers, 'specially compared to you, so that probably stretches a bit. I just want you to get a taster what it's gonna be like later. Get me?" 

"Y...yes..." She sounded ready to fall apart again. 

"Easy now." He stopped moving, content with just letting her body mold around his digits. River panted against his chest, her body quivering, but he could feel her settling down again. 

After a few seconds, she murmured, "You're guarded by the fruit of the loom." 

"Huh?" Instead of explaining, he felt her hand slide down his body to snap the waist of his boxers. "Ow!" He scowled and shifted their bodies so he could swat her bottom with his free hand. "I get it all ready. I still got clothes on." 

The new position put him on his back with River sprawled out on top of him, which meant he could feel her answering giggle all through his body. "The bear is hiding his bushel under a basket," she giggled, obviously enjoying the alliteration. 

"Gorrammit, girl, I ain't a bear. I'm a man." 

"With man parts," she affirmed with a little nod of her head. "She remembers." 

"You do, huh? Mebbe you still need that lesson though. Whaddaya think? You need me to prove it to you?" 

The look in her eyes was so unadulteratedly sexual, he almost flipped her over and had at her then and there. "Yes, please," she purred. "That would be very educational." 

Jayne growled softly, not caring that it made him sound like more of a bear than ever, and flipped her off. She laughed at the action, then moaned as he slowly pulled his fingers from her body. "Gonna need these, baby doll," he told her, wiggling the digits in the air before popping them into his mouth to suck them clean as he clambered over her and stood up next to the bed. He felt her foot connect squarely with his ass, and glared over his shoulder at her. "Wassat for?" 

"One to grow on," she said, as if that meant a gorram thing. 

"Whatever you say, girl." Turning away again, he hooked his thumbs into his boxers and yanked them down, letting them pool around his ankles before kicking them away into a corner. As he was about to turn around, he felt a pair of hands on his hips holding him still, then soft breath against his back as River pressed her lips against his spine. He froze, taken completely unawares. This wasn't a situation he was used to. Most of the body kissing he was used to happened front to front, and if it was the other way around, he was the one behind. 

Looking over his shoulder, he saw that River was kneeling on the edge of the bed, eyes closed as her mouth explored the muscled contours of his back. She had a very expressive mouth - he could feel every fluctuation of her lips against his skin. "What're you doin'?" he asked huskily. 

"Learning your parts," she murmured dreamily into his flesh. "You have a scar here." 

Jayne had almost forgotten about that scar. "Dumb accident when I was a boy," he said, not sure why he was telling her that; she didn't really need to know. "Fell outta a tree. Big hullabaloo. Ma damn near took all the skin off my ass with that damn belt o' hers." 

"Almost killed you," River murmured, and he wondered if she'd even been listening to him. "Got stuck with a big bad branch, nearly broke her boy in two. Momma would've cried big tears for her broken little boy..." 

"Yeah, well..." Jayne shifted uncomfortably, not liking the image of his mother invading his cabin, let alone his mother in tears. "I lived." 

River wasn't paying attention to him, though. She'd moved higher on her knees, and was running her tongue down another scar, which ran down his side from just under his arm to the base of his ribcage. "Dagger danced down the steps," she whispered as her hands slid around his body to hook together over his stomach. "Click, click, click, like Brutus on the steps with Caesar." 

"Gorram Ebon," he snarled, remembering his first partner; the one who'd tried to kill him after their first job, because he wanted the pot all to himself. "He stabbed me, so I took the knife out and pinned him to the deck with it. Bam, right through his shoulder. Took the loot, too. No good hundan." He spat. 

"Almost killed you," she murmured again. 

"Yeah. It happens. I lived." 

Her fingers were dancing over another scar, hidden in the hair on his chest, just below the long, arching scar that she'd given him with that butcher knife. "Bang, bang," she whispered, fingering the round scar. "We all fall down." 

"Jobs go bad." 

"Almost killed you." 

"I lived." 

She moaned behind him, pressing her forehead between his shoulder blades. "Mercenaries rarely live past forty," she spouted, as if reading from a book. "The dangers of the job are not conducive to longevity, and the rigors of activity break the body if not the spirit. The body dies long before the soul. And often that is far worse than if it happened the other way around." 

Jayne turned around slowly, so that her face was pressed into his chest instead, and felt tears on her cheeks. "Hey, why you cryin'?" he asked, flummoxed, and ran his fingers through her hair. 

She looked up, resting her chin on his chest. "I don't want you to die," she croaked. "Who will protect the girl from the dark?" 

Jayne frowned. "Now who in the gorram hell been tellin' you I'm gonna die?" His eyes widened. "Hey, you ain't readin' that outta thin air, are you?" She shook her head, and he breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. You had me worried there for a sec." 

"All men die," she whimpered. "All men, and girls, and people between." 

"Yeah, well I ain't plannin' on none of that happenin' for a long, long time. Get me?" 

"Three little piggies were all it took to stop the Big Bad Wolf." 

"I like bacon. I'll eat 'em 'fore they get a chance." 

She giggled and he felt his muscles loosen. "Say bride," she quipped out of left field. 

That took him aback. "Uh... why?" 

"Before, with the liar, you called her a blushing, psychotic bride. I like how you say bride. It rumbles." She rubbed her cheek against his chest. "Say it." 

"Uh... bride." 

River sighed happily, and he felt her relaxing against him. "Again?" 

"Bride." 

"Shiny." She rubbed her face against his chest, visibly calmer than a moment before. "Thank you." 

"Anytime." 

"Okay." 

He didn't like the sound of that. It felt like he'd just entered into some kind of pact thing without being privy to it ahead of time. "You feelin' better now?" he asked, hoping to turn her attention elsewhere. 

"Much better, grizzly bear. She thanks you for asking." 

"So... can I get back to sexing you?" 

Raising her head, she grinned up at him. "Yes, you have to." Her hands smoothed down his sides to hold his hips as her belly rubbed against his erection, which hardened further at the added touch. "Your manparts demand it." 

"Hell yes they do," he growled, and bent forward to cover her mouth in a hot, hungry kiss. River cooed happily in response, wrapping her arms around his neck and tumbling backwards onto the bed. Jayne let himself be pulled along for the ride, holding himself up on his hands to keep from crushing her. She kept one arm around his neck as the other stole down his body to wrap around his erection, squeezing. 

Jayne groaned, pulling his mouth away from hers as he tried to master himself. "Girl, cut that out," he croaked. "I'm gonna need that." 

"Mine," she said, squeezing him again, and Jayne saw spots dance across his vision. 

Reaching between them, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand up. "You don't know what you do to a body, girl," he gasped, then brought her hand to his mouth. Laving her palm with his tongue a few times, he guided her back down. "Now when you're ready, you jus' go ahead and point me in the right direction." 

He closed his eyes to keep the world from spinning as he felt her warm, wet hand curl around him again. "Jayne Cobb?" she murmured. 

"What?" He was having a helluva time holding back when all he wanted to do was plow into her and pound her into the mattress. 

"I'm ready." 

* * *

River saw stars. 

That wasn't anything new. River saw stars all the time. They danced with her in the corridors, and lit up her eyes when she woke in the morning. Stars were a natural part of her environment, and she bathed in them as other women bathed in water or ass's milk. Sometimes, if she looked closely, she could see her stars reflected in other people's eyes. That made her feel good, because it meant she wasn't the only one who got to be washed by starlight. 

But these stars were altogether different. They exploded for one, like a million neon supernovas. She gasped as they danced and flared before her eyes in licentious paisley patterns, obscuring her vision and focusing all her attention on the slow, inexorable pressure in her lower body as Jayne filled her like a lava flow. She found she couldn't breathe, couldn't move, didn't want to do either until he'd filled her up completely and chased away every reminder of cold metal and hard black rubber she'd ever collated in her prodigious memory. This was... This was new. NOTHING had ever felt like this; not his tongue, not his fingers, not a hundred romance novels read on boring trips from moon to moon. 

"Easy... easy..." he was panting near her ear, but she was fairly certain he was speaking more to himself than her. "Take it easy..." 

River found herself agreeing with him. She didn't want to rush this. He was going slow to make it easier on her, but she wanted him to go slow so she could memorize what each new pressure felt like. She wanted to relive this in the shower, at the dinner table, sitting in the pilot's chair, anytime she was alone. She could do it, too; she had the mind for it. But she had to learn first, and that meant slow. 

Eventually, he came to a standstill, seated inside her and gasping against her shoulder. River shifted her hips experimentally and heard him suck in a breath. "H.. Hold still a second, baby doll," he panted. "Gonna make the rifle go off unscheduled you start moving too soon." 

"Colloquial cloaking," she murmured breathlessly. 

"Somethin' like that. Jus'... hang on..." He wrapped one arm around her waist, lifting her hips a little further; they both gasped with the motion, and River saw her supernovas again. 

"Okay... Okay... Gou shi...," Jayne muttered. "You jus' hold on to me." 

River didn't know how to tell him she wasn't about to let go; the words wouldn't come. She settled for wrapping her arms around his neck and holding tightly as he started to move within her. It didn't take long for her to pick up the rhythm, and soon they were moving like two halves of a machine. Fluid, like a river. Her name was apropos. 

It was a lot like dancing, she decided, except her heart was going a million times faster than when she danced - not quite, but she couldn't be bothered to calculate the exact speed - and she felt wonderfully, deliciously full. She spent so much of her life feeling empty, as though bits and pieces of her had been left scattered across the Alliance; odd that so much of that void could be filled up by one loud-mouthed, brash mercenary. 

The friction was incredible. Friction to her was nothing more than a basic element of physics, the application of which created heat. But this friction was friction; she thought she was going to melt from it. It was making it hard to breathe, or even think. Jayne didn't seem to be having a problem with the thinking, though the one thought he was having was Girl... girl... girl..., over and over like a clockwork wheel. River laughed at the singlemindedness of the thought, throwing back her head and arching her back so that the only things supporting her body were her shoulders, Jayne's arm, and the back of her head. 

"Yes... yes... Oh yes, please, please, please...!" she heard herself gasping, and marveled that she sounded so normal. For once her words were perfectly cogent, even if they were slurred and muddy with raw sexual desire. 

"Come on, COME ON," Jayne growled against her throat between running his tongue along her collarbone and sucking fiercely on her breasts. She keened with each pull, her fingers trying to find purchase on his slippery skin. "Ta ma de, I know you wanna come... Come on, baby doll... come on... !" 

This was what she'd been trained for. To ignore this. To ignore the fullness, the sense of completion, the shattering sensation of losing herself completely in somebody else. This was what the Blue Hands had spent so much time breaking in her. And they'd almost got it right. Almost. 

They just hadn't counted on Jayne's tongue. 

Now she knew what she was missing. 

Twining her arms around him so he was covering her completely, she forced everything else from her jumbled, tumbled mind and focused solely on the burgeoning glow in her lower belly. "Yes... Yes, now... Now, now, please, now..." she panted desperately against his shoulder. "Oh please... please please... now now do it NOW...!" 

His mouth closed over her breast again, and like a match touched to a rocket, it set her on fire. 

The glow in her belly exploded and expanded, rushing outwards to fill her body like rum and honey, then spilled out through her fingers and toes and the tips of her hair, until they were surrounded in a burning corona of sunshine and pure white light. She laughed at the sensation of light pouring through her, pouring out of her, filling the room till it was too much and the walls had to stretch to hold it all. She had to close her eyes against the glow but could still feel it warming her body like a bath. 

She realized she'd been screaming again when she felt Jayne's mouth covering hers, swallowing her screams and adding a few moans of his own as she felt him pulsing inside her; warmth inside where the light was still the brightest. It was already beginning to fade, but the memory was still there, and she couldn't stop smiling. Even as he kept kissing her, she couldn't stop smiling. Her hands played with his hair and her stomach trembled with exuberant little giggles as the walls stopped expanding and settled back in again. 

When Jayne finally moved away from her mouth, it was so he could tumble onto his back, bringing her with him so that she was crooked in his arm "Gou shi, I don't reckon I'm gonna be able to move again till Hell freezes over," he groaned, then immediately belied himself by shifting her into a more comfortable position, so that now she was more like a blanket than a teddy bear. 

"We were glowing," she concurred, closing her eyes and remembering the explosion of light again. It made her body tremble with sense memory. 

"Sure, baby doll," he said, in a tone that said he hadn't heard a word she said, or if he had, he didn't understand it. He yawned and wrapped his arms around her, so that she was dwarfed in his embrace. "You comfy?" 

"Warm and snuggly." She tucked her face into his throat, feeling his rumbling laugh vibrate against her lips. 

"Good, cuz I'm not fixin' to let you go anytime soon. That nutty brother o' yours comes knockin', we're gonna ignore him, dong ma?" 

"Oui." 

"Yeah, we. Plan ain't gonna work iffen only one of us does the ignorin', baby doll." He yawned, his chest expanding and contracting like a bellows beneath her. "Gorram, I'm tuckered out." 

"Two birds," she cooed. 

"You and your gorram birds." She could tell he was grinning as he said it. Maybe he'd seen the light, too. "Feng le girl. What about the third?" 

River closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of their combined sweat and the musky tang of sex. He was warm and loose beneath her. "Dead like doornails," she told him. 

"Well that's good then." He yawned again, and this time his words were slow and slurred. He was falling asleep. "You gonna... be all right?" he mumbled. 

"Mm-hmm." His sleepiness was transferring itself to her, and she took it gladly. It would be nice, falling asleep with him. Then she could wake up with him, too. 

"Scared of the dark still?" 

She thought of light, bright and sunny and golden and white, pressing out the walls of his cabin until they stretched for miles and miles on all sides, before compressing up again into a warm ball curled up in her belly. 

She smiled. 

"Shiny," she murmured, and kissed him to sleep. 

**THE END**

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title:   **Problem Solving**   
Author:   **Mnemosyne**   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **NC-17**  |  **het**  |  **65k**  |  **10/16/05**   
Characters:  Jayne, River   
Pairings:  River/Jayne   
Summary:  Jayne wakes up to find River in his bed. What the gorram hell? VAGUE spoilers for "Serenity"   
Notes:  This fic involves sex between a forty-something mercenary and a seventeen-year-old genius. I tried to make it as unsquicky as possible, but if that disturbs you, I suggest you don't read. There are also allusions to unpleasant behavior at the Academy, so again, please don't read if that upsets you.   
  



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